The Harmful Psychological Effects of
by belasgrl
Summary: That's not the full title it wouldn't fit . DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!
1. Chapter 1

I do not own The Phantom of the Opera, Teletubbies, or Sweeney Todd, or any of their characters I do not own _The Phantom of the Opera_, _Teletubbies_, or _Sweeney Todd_, or any of their characters. If I owned the Teletubbies, I'd be dead by now because some Teletubbie-hating insane person would have killed me.

_**The Harmful Psychological Effects of Overexposure to Teletubbies **_**or **_**How to Torture a Teletubbie **_

The Interruption

"Knock, knock."

Erik answered the door.

"Oh, god!"

The knocking at the door interrupted our game. Christine and I sat on the floor, holding our pieces. Erik turned his head to look at us. "Who is it, dear?" Christine asked him.

Erik didn't say anything. The Teletubbies rushed into the house.

I cried out. Suddenly, the four little ugly freaks rushed to me and grabbed me and dragged me out of the house before Erik or Christine could stop them.


	2. Chapter 2

A Hell On Earth A Hell On Earth

"Over the hills and far away, Teletubbies come to play."

"**AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!**"

"Tinky-Winkie!"

"Dipsy!"

"La-La!"

"Po!"

"_**Help me!!**_"

"Teletubbies! Teletubbies! Say hello!"

"_**GET ME OUT OF HERE!!**_"

I was stuck in Teletubbie Land, otherwise known as one of the Hells that exists on Earth. They had tied me up to a tree. Dipsy was standing nearby to make sure I didn't escape.

I didn't know why I was here. I hated the show and made fun of it all the time, but I never said anything to their faces. Now, I was actually _in _the show, and they were all laughing at me. I was so confused.

There were two things I was worried about: What were these freaks going to do to me, and how was I going to get out of there.

As I tried to break free, La-La hit me on the head with a plastic shovel. "Eh, oh!" all of the Teletubbies said.

"What the hell was _that _for??" I shouted.

All four of the freaks covered their mouths with both of their hands.

"Oh, I said a bad word. Too much for you to handle?" I snapped.

"Naughty Noo-Noo!" they said.

"_**I AM NOT A FN VACCUUM CLEANER!!**_" I screamed. "_**NOW, GET ME OUT OF HERE, YOU ASSHOLES!!**_" I was starting to get really tired of standing.

Po ran into the weird house thingy. She came back with a HUGE bar of soap. With help from her friends, she shoved the soap into my mouth. I was forced to swallow it. Within minutes, I began feeling sick.

It was awful, and if that wasn't enough, three of them turned on the televisions on their stomachs and made me watch stuff on Baby First TV. Tinky-Winkie, meanwhile, was shoving toast down my throat. It was a horrible experience, and I seriously thought I was going to die.


	3. Chapter 3

To The Rescue

When all seemed lost for me, I saw each of the Teletubbies turn around. I was too sick to look up, but I heard a voice boom, "_**All right! What have you done with her?!**_"

I saw big colorful feet runnning around, aimlessly. Then, I heard a 'swish!', a few cries, and a banging of metal. When I finally got my head to raise up, I saw pale hands untying me. Then, I saw Erik's face. "Don't worry. I'll get you out of here," he said.

After that, I don't remember a thing that happened in there.


	4. Chapter 4

Something Very Bad

I must have passed out because when I woke up, I was lying on a bed in Erik and Christine's house. I felt a cold washcloth on my forehead. I heard Christine's gentle voice say, "Erik, she's waking up!"

Slowly, I opened my eyes. It was difficult to do because the light was very bright. I was expecting to see Christine's gentle face and warm smile. Instead, I screamed.

Christine was apparently confused because she asked, "What's wrong?"

"_Stay back!!_" I screamed. "_Go away!!_"

I tried getting up, but I guess I was too sick to do so. Therefore, I screamed my head off instead.

Erik came rushing over. "What's the matter?"

"Erik!" I screamed. "She's turned into one of _them_!"

I heard Christine's voice, but it wasn't Christine. What I saw was a giant, pink Teletubbie. When it spoke, it had Christine's voice. When it tried touching me with a big, mitten-like hand, I shrieked and held up my hands. It immediately withdrew its hand.

"What do you mean, 'she's turned into one of them'?" Erik asked.

"Christine's a Teletubbie!"

"Erik," I heard the Teletubbie with Christine's voice say, "Something is very wrong with her."

"Well, what am _I_?" Erik asked me.

I looked at Erik. He looked the way he always looked. "You," I said, calmly.

Erik and Christine both looked confused. "So, Christine looks like a Telletubbie, but I look like me?" Erik asked.

"Yeah."

"Hmm…Well, maybe we should take you to see a psychiatrist. Perhaps your exposure to the Teletubbies did mor damage than we thought."

I nodded. "Okay, but can 'it' stay?"

I was referring to the pink Teletubbie that had Christine's voice. It looked disappointed, but Erik replied, "If it will help, then, yes. Come on. Let's go."


	5. Chapter 5

The Diagnosis The Diagnosis

Erik and I got out of the house and got in the car. Erik and Christine lived in the suburbs, and the psychiatrist Erik talked about was in the city nearby. It wouldn't take us very long to get there if there wasn't a lot of traffic.

"Now, try to relax," Erik said while we were on the road. "You know that it isn't normal to see Christine as a Teletubbie."

"Yeah," I exclaimed.

"Look at yourself in the mirror. What do _you _look like?"

I looked. "I'm me," I answered him.

When we got into the city, I started looking out of the windows. I became terrified. "_**LET ME OUT OF HERE!!**_" I screamed.

Erik shook, startled. "What in God's name is the matter?!"

I screamed again. "_**THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!**_"

What I saw everywhere around me were TELETUBBIES. There were hundreds of them walking across the streets and down sidewalks. There were Teletubbies carrying briefcases and wearing suits and ties. There were mother Teletubbies pushing strollers with little Teletubbie babies in them. There was a Teletubbie wearing huge, fake gold jewelry who was carrying a boombox. They were everywhere, Everywhere, EVERYWHERE! The population of the whole city was made up of Teletubbies!

I almost fainted, but all I did was keep screaming until we got there. Erik had a hard time getting me out of the car, but what finally got me out was when he said that he'd buy me something from Subway after all this was over. Mmm…Subway…I couldn't resist.

When we finally got in to see the psychiatrist, I couldn't help but scream again. Even the _psychiatrist _looked like a Teletubbie! It was strange, though. He had wild, dark hair with one stripe of white at the side of his hair…

"Good afternoon, young lady," the psychiatrist said with an English accent.

All I did was scream.

"Dr. Todd," Erik said, "Isis needs your help. She went through something terrible, and we fear it's altered her mind, drastically."

"Hmm…Well, Isis, tell me what happened."

I told the psychiatrist about the Teletubbies kidnapping me and all the horrible things they did to me. Then, I told him that everyone in the world except Erik and me looked like Teletubbies.

"Well, it seems that you have Teletubbieanamous."

"What is _that_?"

"It's a disease of the mind that is a result of overexposure to Teletubbies," Dr. Todd (as a big, blue Teletubbie) said. "Thankfully, it's only temporary."

"Why don't I see Erik or myself as Teletubbies?" I asked.

"The victims never see themselves as the ones who tortured them," Dr. Todd explained. "And…you said that Erik was the one who got you out of Teletubbie Land?"

"Yeah."

"Well, then, you don't see Erik as a Teletubbie because he was the one who _rescued_ you from them."

"Oh."

"Dr. Todd, will she be alright?" Erik asked, concerned.

"Oh, yes. Just try to keep her away from everything Teletubbie-related, and she should be fine."

"Thank you, doctor."

As we were leaving the office, Erik asked Dr. Todd, "Didn't you used to be a barber?"

"Oh, yes, sir," Dr. Todd replied, "but it got to be too bloody of a business for _my _liking."

"Oh, was Erik's only response, and we left.


	6. Chapter 6

An Idea for a Cure An Idea for a Cure

For weeks after we saw Dr. Todd, I still saw nearly everyone as Teletubbies. Every time I looked out a window turned on the TV, I saw them, and as the days went by, this didn't change.

One day, Erik said, "This isn't good. Dr. Todd said that this was only a _temporary _condition, but it's been going on for _weeks_."

I just shrugged.

Christine, or the pink Teletubbie with Christine's voice, exclaimed while sewing a button on one of Erik's shirts, "Well, dear, he didn't say specifically how _long _it lasts; it could take her a _year _to get back to normal."

I groaned. I wanted to see the world the way it _really _was again. I was sick of seeing Teletubbies everywhere, and I was always nervous when I was close to one.

Erik sat down in his chair and thought for a while. Suddenly, he cried out, "I've got an idea!"

"Goodness, Erik! You almost made me drop my needle!"

"Isis, I know this will sound bizarre, but it's worth a try."

"What?" I asked, willing to try almost anything if it meant getting rid of my Teletubbieanamous.

"Well, if Teletubbies torturing you got you the disease," Erik said, "then maybe doing it the other way around will rid you of it."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that if you caused physical and mental harm to the ones who tortured you, perhaps it will reverse the effects of the disease."

"Now, dear," the pink Teletubbie with Christine's voice spoke, gently, "don't you think that's faulty logic?"

"Maybe, my love, but we've _got _to try _something_. What do you think, Isis?"

I thought about it for a minute before saying, "I'll try _anything_. I'm desperate!"

"All right, then. Here's what we'll do…"


	7. Chapter 7

Do Unto Others… Do Unto Others…

That very same night, Erik and I sneaked into Teletubbie Land. We got into Tinky-Winkie, Dipsy, La-La, and Po's bedroom without a sound. By the time they woke up, it was too late. Within moments, Erik had them tied up against a pole. "They're all yours," Erik told me.

I stared at the Teletubbies, who were trying to get free. My anger grew as I remembered what these same freaks did to me not too long ago. Now, it was _my _turn to dish out the torture.

"_**Shut up, you fn idiots!**_" I screamed.

Immediately, the four Teletubbies stopped struggling to get out of their bonds and stared at me.

"You thought that you would have a little fun with me, did you?" I hissed. "Well, now it's _my _turn. For weeks, I've been seeing nearly everyone as one of your kind, and it's been driving me insane! _**You're not**__**going to get away with what you've done to me!!**_"

With this, I grabbed four huge bars of soap and shoved one in each of their mouths. Then, I picked up a long hose. The Teletubbies' eyes widened with fright. I turned the water on full blast and shot it right at their faces. Then, when I turned the water off, I brought in a TV and put _Sweeney Todd_ in the DVD player. I skipped to the song _Johanna_ (the second one) where Sweeney is singing and slicing the throats of his victims at the same time. La-La threw up sometime during the song, and the others tried to look away (even though Erik made it so they couldn't). Next, I made the Teletubbies eat a mixture of cardboard, cabbage, and rotten bananas. I enjoyed seeing them hurl after they were forced to swallow it.

When I was through torturing them, I exclaimed, "See how it feels when someone tortures you? Now, will you promise NEVER to do what you did again?"

The four freaks nodded, quickly.

"Good. I'm done, Erik," I finally said, calmly.

Erik, who had been watching the scene the whole time, exclaimed, "All right. Let's go, then."

So we left, leaving the Teletubbies tied up for someone to find them the next day.


	8. Chapter 8

Cured Cured

When we got back home, Christine was still awake, waiting for us. When I saw her, I cried out…for joy. She looked the same as she always had. I ran to her and gave her a big hug. "Christine, you're you again!" I cried.

"Oh, Isis," she exclaimed, relieved. Then to Erik, she said, "I guess your logic wasn't faulty at all, my love."

"Oh, it was just a mere guess. What's important is that Isis is back to normal."

I hugged both Erik and Christine. I saw _people _now. I saw the world. I was extremely happy.

I was cured.

The End


End file.
